Tag Archives: strength

Bondage for the inflexible

So I had someone post in a group I run on a website called Fetlife.

This was the question:

“Bondage for the Inflexible

I dunno about the rest of you.. but being tied up, while fun, really poses some challenges! I’m small, and a little overweight. The extra flab makes suspensions difficult because there is a lot of squishy movement going on. And then, of course, there are my short limbs, and inflexibility! My legs are thick and short, and my arms are just short. It is difficult for me to even overlap my wrists behind my back. And that whole elbows together thing that some people do? No, not even a wisp of hope for that!

So! How flexible are you? Do your limbs and inflexibility pose problems when someone tries to tie you up? How frustrating is it! And how do you get around it and make it all work out anyway?”

 

I replied here:

Its awesome that you start this discussion cuz I was actually just talking to someone about this.

Ive been doing rope work as a bottom for over a year.

I love pushing the hardest suspensions, really going overboard, but I am very limited when it comes to my lower back.

I have a scoliosis in my lower back. (Hunchback disease) for those who don’t know.

This limits me greatly for upward facing supsensions or for anything that bends me backwards in half.

I have been slowly working at stretching and pushing myself in this regard but scoliosis does not ever go away. Right now mine is dormant, but may not remain that way.

I may be skinny and such and blah blah but I have a different sort of limitation I guess. I get frustrated to tears some days when I just can’t do what I want to do.

It makes me angry some days and I feel stupid cuz I just can’t make my body do things.

Ive been teaching myself acceptance and patience with this and it’s been extremely difficult.

I want a fast track cure for my problem but there is not one.

I am making progress with my flexibility but there is a huge mountain in my way. It’s intimidating and daunting and makes me feel weak and inadequate when I realize how much work there is needed to ever begin to stretch myself even tiny incriments.

I adore bondage and I when I get limitations it makes me extremely sad.

I am also very hard on myself always have been so that doesn’t help anything.

 But it all takes time I suppose. This may be one of those things I’ll never get past. That’s probably the worst part of fighting it. >_<

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Pain Quote 2

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”  ―    Jim Morrison

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Just a little about scars

So about 3 years ago I had a baby. During the experience of having a baby I acquired quite a few scars on my belly and legs and breasts. Right when she was born I went through a terribly self conscious phase because I thought people would reject the scars and think they were hidous.

Over the last year really I’ve come to an amazing realization. Scars aren’t a sign of weakness they are a sign of trials and making it through some rough shit. They are testament to an event that changed my life.

I do a fair bit of nude modeling and I’ve made the decision to be okay with my scars. Most people who know me know I’ve got a daughter and are fully understanding of the fact that the scars are from having her. I get people who like them, people who hate them and of course people who are indifferent. But what I do now is tell people straight up I don’t mind if they leave them in the photos. I absolutely do not require that people take them out.

I really am becoming proud of my scars. I feel so tired and exhausted being a mother some days but I know I am a strong person whose been through hell and back and have the scars to prove it. I can’t feel shame or embarrassment for them anymore, they are a huge part of what defines who I am.

Since last year I’ve also been adding hook suspension scars to my back and it’s funny because they get asked about a lot more than my tummy scars now. People always seem to need to hear the story about how the freak hangs on hooks. I laugh. I also love these scars. I am super proud of these scars and can’t wait to add more!

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